(with apologies to David Letterman)

10. The idea of leaving money to your dog is embarrassing.

9. You think that your three teen-age children will grow up to be each other’s best friends and live forever in a mysterious spirit of consensus that permeates all decisions.

8. You believe that your daughter-in-law will continue to love, honor and obey your son, the starving artist, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as they both shall live.

7. You’re confident your son has kicked that little problem he’s been having with the ponies for the last 10 or 15 years.

6. You think that the $39.99 home Will Kit program from Staples® has all the answers – or at least will have all the answers just as soon as they come out with Version 9.0.

5. You have faith in the rhythm method of birth control.

4. The idea of your minor children being raised by their aunt and uncle on an ashram seems, well, kinda groovy.

3. You like watching your relatives fight.

2. You know that your husband will never remarry after you are gone.

1. You’re going to live forever.

If none of these reasons apply to you, please call and make an appointment for a free consultation.